SolJo top 100

Article in progress. Working title: "Top 100 SolJo moments (with Jimmy Carr)."

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100. SolJo first journal to feature photographs of naked breasts (1927)

In an item on the cultures of South American tribes SolJo prints photographs of women in traditional dress, the resulting outrage from reactionaly elements doubling its circulation.

87. SolJo succesfully saves Christmas (1985)

72. Tip-off from "deep-throat" to SolJo brings down Nixon administration (1973-4)

54. SolJo featured in "Simpsons" (1993)

In series four, episode 73, Bart disowns Homer after being beaten with an October 1992 issue of SolJo (the one with the nuclear postage stamp scare on the cover). In an episode in series nine, episode 186 the SolJo is again seen, this time being read by palaeontologist Stephen Jay Gould (indulging in an ego massage by reading an interview with himself).

39. SolJo brings down Berlin Wall (1989)

25. SolJo distributed free on public transport (2005)

SolJo introduces "SolJo Transit", competing with the Daily Mail's existing free newspaper "Metro", to be distributed on the London Underground, and other public transport networks throughout the UK. Like Metro, Transit lifts most of its articles from websites, including Wikipedia and KittieBlog17.

18. SolJo Media Group propreiter, Robert Soljo, dies (1991)

Smarmy fat theiving lying liar theif (we get the point -Ed), Robert Soljo steals money from SolJo Media Group employees, falls from boat during investigation.

10. UK government launches enquiery into anti-war SolJo (2003)

9. SolOj misspells own name (1976)

8. SolJo first journal to adopt "Haguer" format (2005)

7. SolJo found to contain carcinogens harmfull to babies (1998)

Millions of copies of SolJo were recalled after scientists found SolJo contained levels of the nonsense word "bumcivilian" above safe limits. This caused panic amoungst parents who had bought SolJo's to pacify their babies, loosing the magazine much of its target audience of todlers.

6. SolJo launched on stock market (1983)

5. SolJo sells one billion dollars of front page advertising (1998)

A single edition of SolJo (105:41) rakes in one billion dollars from advertising alone, as the cover is divided into a billion pixels and sold. Advertisers included several rivals, offshore casinos and British deputy prime-minister John Prescott's new fitness video.

4. SolJo inadvertantly causes extinction of world's smallest vertebrate species (2006)

After the SolJo's "Name and Shame" campaign against registered sex offenders, a vigil-anti gang of exceptionally low intelligence causes the extinction of the world's smallest vertebrate, the Malaysian fish genus Paedocypris.

3. SolJo circulation hits 500 million with seminal series (1979)

SolJo's series "Life On Earth", seminal both because of its ground breaking production technology and abundance of penis related jokes, is read by one in every eight people alive. Ironically, the issues which carried the series are lost to the SolJo archive library, and it is thought no copies survive. Years later the iconic series would be parodied in advertisments for oral thrush medicines.

2. Christian Voice boycott SolJo production of "Trisha - The Opera" (2004)

All two members of Christian Voice refuse to read "Trisha - The Opera" in SolJo, rest of world carries on laughing at them.

1. SolJo banned from public places (2006)

Paliament passes legislation to ban SolJo from all enclosed public spaces from 2007, effectively closing the magazine.