Interesting insults. put downs and retorts

Insults

• Your pedal extremities are obnoxious.
• Your epicanthal folds are upwardly slanting.
• Your mother wears army boots.
• I get the impression that if their combined IQ were a temperature, it would scarcely suffice to make a tepid soup.

Retorts

• This is a meaningless comparison based on a stunningly absurd fallacy. Other than that, you make an excellent argument here.
• Hello, Ambassador from Backasswards Land; I believe you'll find things a bit different on Planet Earth.
• F&L: Perhaps it might help if I begin by explaining that... I don't give a flying toss what you think. Now, I've only got an estimated, oh, 47 years left on this planet and I don't propose to waste any more of them in idle chatter with a confused old gasbag like you.