A helluva lot of bytes

(07:20) * @Marielurkin` starves.

(07:20) (@Marielurkin`): I want some cheesecake!!

(07:20) (@Joe): I have toast...

(07:20) * @ProdigalSon bakes Marielurkin` a cheesecake

(07:21) (@Marielurkin`): With butter and jam??

(07:21) (@Marielurkin`): Thanks, PS.

(07:21) * @Marielurkin` sues Joe.

(07:21) (@Joe): just butter

(07:21) (@Marielurkin`): So anyhow.

(07:21) * @Marielurkin` sticks her whole face in the cheesecake..

(07:21) (.Joe): I think there is some jam around somewhere...

(07:22) (@Marielurkin`): aww screw it..I'll smoke me a cigarette n' get a piece of gum to fix me up. :)

(07:22) (@ProdigalSon): hmm

(07:23) * .Joe emails Marielurkin` a piece of toast

(07:23) * @Marielurkin` swipes through the cheesecake making a ring around her mouth to get a cig in.

(07:23) °°° Disconnected

(07:24) °°° Now talking in #moo, Steinsky 07:24:08

<insert 8 lines of onjoin bollocks here>

<br>

(07:24) (@Marielurkin`): Wb.

(07:24) (.Steinsky): it was emailing that toast

(07:24) (.Steinsky): it didn't like it

(07:24) °°° Nick Change: Marielurkin` is now Marie`

(07:24) (.Steinsky): these bits of food take up a helluva lot of bytes

(07:25) (@ProdigalSon): no pun intended

(07:25) (.Steinsky): they should make better program for compressing them - like you do for

jpegs and mp3s

(07:25) (.Steinsky): to make sending toast more net friendly

(07:26) * .Steinsky develops his hypothesis

(07:26) (.Steinsky): YAY 2 months gone, and I've started my coursework

(07:26) (.Steinsky): 2 days in which to do the work :)

(07:27) (@fwaggle): Steinsky: ever tried writing an algorithm to compress toast?

(07:27) (@ProdigalSon): want to take some of my certification exams for me?

(07:28) (.Steinsky): fwaggle: no, I've always found biting and chewing works fine

(07:28) (.Steinsky): a bit old fashioned, but still...

(07:28) (.Steinsky): it does the job

(07:29) (@fwaggle): Steinsky: yes, but is it reversible?

(07:29) (.Steinsky): well... no.

(07:29) (@fwaggle): that's not an algorithm it's a hash

(07:29) (@fwaggle): a one-way hash

(07:30) (@fwaggle): if you want to compare a given piece of toast to the stored piece of toast, you must apply the same biting and chewing hash to it, then compare the results (messy work)

(07:30) (@ProdigalSon): you're the only person i've ever seen talk about writing an algorithm to compress toast

(07:30) (.Steinsky): can't I just apply the same biting and chewing, and leave it there?

(07:30) (.Steinsky): cos I've eaten all the toast now

(07:30) (.Steinsky): so I'd have to go make some more

(07:33) (@fwaggle): Steinsky: yes, but what if you wanted to check the authenticity of the toast?

(07:33) (.Steinsky): Will Young is on the radio

(07:33) (.Steinsky): wailing his awfull awfull cover of light my fiyyyaaaYYYAAYAYREEE

(07:34) (.Steinsky): fwaggle: It came out of a bag named "Wholemeal Bread" and went into the toaster, if authentication neccesary?

(07:35) (@ProdigalSon): checksum it

(07:35) (.Steinsky): after all, it doesn't matter that it's toast, but it does matter that it's a three dimentional physical object

(07:35) (@fwaggle): Steinsky: trusting the wholemeal bread bag is like trusting rlogin's from one unix host to another... easily exploitable

(07:35) (.Steinsky): same way as it doesn't matter if the .jpeg is off nekked ladies, as long as it's correctly formatted as a picture

(07:36) (@fwaggle): what if someone were to spoof a piece of sourdough into the original bread bag

(07:36) (.Steinsky): well... it's possible

(07:36) (.Steinsky): I normally check these things manually though

(07:37) (.Steinsky): it might be a problem if I were to, say, email the bag of bread to Marie`

(07:37) (@fwaggle): ahh.. a dililgent toaster administrator

(07:37) (@ausmech): i usually use observation , if it looks good eat it

(07:37) (@fwaggle): as long as you don't export the system to other users

(07:39) (.Steinsky): er... well...

(07:39) (.Steinsky): the rest of the family work along similar lines

(07:39) (@fwaggle): yes, that sourdough could cause unexpected errors

(07:39) (.Steinsky): which could, I suppose, be dangerous

(07:39) (.Steinsky): since we're using the same bag of bread

(07:39) (.Steinsky): but I don't give access to the bread to anyone I don't trust

(07:44) (@ausmech): what if you gave access to your bread to a trusted friend , and they betrayed your trust and exploited that bag of bread

(07:44) °°° Joins: OrganizedChaos (~Organized@208.54.204.39) #moo Shift + F1 to /Whois

(07:44) °°° Mode Change in #moo by ChanServ: +o OrganizedChaos

(07:45) (@OrganizedChaos): hola

(07:45) (.Steinsky): yes, but my friends rarely bring the sourdoughd exploit with them

(07:46) (.Steinsky): !quote *burntd*

(07:46) (@thecow): Quote 0: Joins: fwaggle (~fwaggle@i.root.your.toaster.with.the.burntd.exploit.net) #moo

(07:46) (@ausmech): but what if it wasnt the sourdough exploit

(07:46) (@ausmech): it might of been the crusty mould exploit

(07:46) (@OrganizedChaos): grassy-ass

(07:47) (.Steinsky): the crusty mould explot is just a worm that will get to the bread after a certain time anyway

(07:47) (.Steinsky): people rarely plant the crusty mould exploit on your bread

(07:47) (.Steinsky): my system has always worked fine...

(07:47) (@OrganizedChaos): so what's up ppl?

(07:47) (@ausmech): ok say the crusty mould had an acceleration period due to a hot damp atmosphere

(07:48) (.Steinsky): uhuh...

(07:48) (.Steinsky): that's fixed in one of two ways

(07:48) * @OrganizedChaos blinks

(07:48) (@fwaggle): ausmech: i would put that down to user ignorance

(07:48) (.Steinsky): the "bread bin" patch and the "fridge" patch

(07:48) (@ausmech): throw it out

(07:48) (@ausmech): and get a new bag of bread

(07:48) (.Steinsky): I do have the relevant patches kthx

(07:49) (@ausmech): the fridge patch maybe too late though

(07:49) (.Steinsky): yes, but I have a bread bin that blocks all unauthorised access to the bread

(07:49) (@fwaggle): ausmech: it must be applied early

(07:49) (@fwaggle): and kept up to date

(07:50) (@ProdigalSon): have you all been drinking?

(07:50) (@ausmech): but there must still be ways around the fridge patch

(07:50) (@ausmech): say your kid leaves the fridge door open...

(07:50) (.Steinsky): well, there has to be some sort of access to the fridge

(07:50) (@ausmech): the fridge patch is out the door

(07:50) (@fwaggle): ProdigalSon: i think there's a gas leak in here =

(07:51) (@ausmech): what i reccomend is one of them hinged latches

(07:51) * @OrganizedChaos lights a match

(07:51) (@ausmech): and a padlock on the fridge door

(07:51) (@fwaggle): OrganizedChaos: FIREWALL!

(07:51) (@ausmech): so the bread stays fresh and free of maggots

(07:51) (@OrganizedChaos): heh

(07:51) (@OrganizedChaos): so wtf is everybody in here up to?

(07:51) (.Steinsky): I really don't think the likelyhood of that happening is enough to warrent fwaggle writing algorithms to check it

(07:52) (@fwaggle): OrganizedChaos: we're all talking about some whacked out shit :)

(07:52) (.Steinsky): anyway, I've already said, I check the bread before putting it in the toaster :)

(07:52) (.Steinsky): there really is *no* chance of Marielurkin` getting food poinsoning from my toast

(07:52) (@OrganizedChaos): heh

(07:52) (@fwaggle): Steinsky: agreed, education, not technology, is the answer to this problem

(07:52) (@OrganizedChaos): i'm just getting some Bush

(07:52) (@OrganizedChaos): err...

(07:52) (@OrganizedChaos): downloading some Bush

(07:52) * @OrganizedChaos blinks

(07:52) * @ausmech watches Steinsky fall over dead from food poisoning

(07:53) (.Steinsky): no, that's lack of sleep :)

(07:54) (@OrganizedChaos): heh

(07:55) (@OrganizedChaos): guess i got off w/out anybody noticing my screw-up

(07:55) (.Steinsky): OrganizedChaos: blowing up the room?

(07:56) (@OrganizedChaos): no

(07:56) (@OrganizedChaos): not that

(07:56) (@OrganizedChaos): lol

(07:56) (@OrganizedChaos): "i'm just getting some Bush"

(07:56) (@OrganizedChaos): "err..."

(07:56) (.Steinsky): ahh :)

(07:56) (@OrganizedChaos): "downloading some Bush"

(07:56) * @Marielurkin` downloads everyone's soul for blackmailing purposes.

(07:56) (.Steinsky): well, at least you didn't point it out to us afterwards so that we'd addquote it, eh?

(07:57) * @OrganizedChaos has no soul

(07:57) (@fwaggle): marie stole my soul 2 years ago in #games_rpg, so that's no big loss for me

<br>

Original Replies to this article from before the database change:

<br>

Posted By: muzik98 on Sun, 9/Jun/2002 2:14:42 from 62.254.0.9

that be some funny shit!!! Did anyone manage to send the toast via e mail? how did you get the toast in the pc anyway? wouldnt you need some form of bluetooth toaster to transport the toast to your desktop to attach it to?

<br>

Posted By: Steinsky on Mon, 10/Jun/2002 23:18:8 from 62.64.208.114

I have some follow up logs that I'll go find and post here in a minute...

<br>

Posted By: Steinsky on Mon, 10/Jun/2002 23:30:44 from 62.64.200.92

A search through the 400,000 line #moo.mooircd.log for *toast* revealed, amoungst others this:

<br>

(21:47) (.Ma[x]imuMOver[k]ilL): i am a toaster hacker

(21:47) * .Ma[x]imuMOver[k]ilL points to his microsoft MCTH certificate

(21:47) (.Ma[x]imuMOver[k]ilL): Microsoft Certified Toaster Hacker

(21:47) (.Marie`): I was just talking about toasters...industrial high...puff the magic toaster... :o

(21:47) * .Ma[x]imuMOver[k]ilL looks at Marie` like shes an alien

<br>

Posted By: Steinsky on Mon, 10/Jun/2002 23:38:21 from 62.64.200.92

(14:03) (@Iain): want some of my tea?

(14:03) (.Joe): are you going to email it to him? :)

(14:04) (@Iain): yes, once i develop an algorithm for encoding tea

(14:07) (.Joe): also

(14:07) (.Joe): you'll want to make sure the reciever has a cup underneath their inbox when

you send it

(14:07) (.Joe): otherwise things might get messy

(14:09) (@Iain): yea

(14:10) (@Iain): good idea!

<br>

Posted By: Steinsky on Mon, 10/Jun/2002 23:42:20 from 62.64.200.92

(16:06) (.Joe): anyone for ice cream?

(16:06) (.Joe): home made

(16:06) (.Joe): chocolate

(16:07) (@[Nurgle]): sure

(16:07) (.PaRiS): what like, poo?

(16:07) (.PaRiS): home made chocolate?

(16:08) (.Joe): no, home made ice cream

(16:08) (.Joe): fool

(16:08) (@[Nurgle]): home made chocolate ice cream

(16:08) (@[Nurgle]): #zcsakh

(16:08) (@[Nurgle]): gz

(16:08) (@[Nurgle]):

hasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxaaaaaaaa

(16:08) (.Joe): too bad fwaggle hasn't finnished that algorithm for compressing physical objects for email isn't it

(16:09) * .Joe keeps all the ice cream for himself

(16:09) (@[Nurgle]): yup

<br>

Posted By: Steinsky on Mon, 10/Jun/2002 23:43:52 from 62.64.200.92

(16:06) (.Joe): anyone for ice cream?

(16:06) (.Joe): home made

(16:06) (.Joe): chocolate

(16:07) (@[Nurgle]): sure

(16:07) (.PaRiS): what like, poo?

(16:07) (.PaRiS): home made chocolate?

(16:08) (.Joe): no, home made ice cream

(16:08) (.Joe): fool

(16:08) (@[Nurgle]): home made chocolate ice cream

(16:08) (@[Nurgle]): #zcsakh

(16:08) (@[Nurgle]): gz

(16:08) (@[Nurgle]):

hasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxaaaaaaaa

(16:08) (.Joe): too bad fwaggle hasn't finnished that algorithm for compressing physical objects for email isn't it

(16:09) * .Joe keeps all the ice cream for himself

(16:09) (@[Nurgle]): yup

<br>

Posted By: Steinsky on Mon, 10/Jun/2002 23:49:29 from 62.64.200.92

I'm a double posting retard all point and laugh.

<br>

Posted By: OrganizedChaos on Sun, 16/Jun/2002 19:13:0 from 208.54.200.225

*points and laughs*