In which O'Rourke demonstrates why Europeans think Americans are arrogant

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P.J. O'Rourke has written a patronising two part letter from America for BBC Radio 4. The talks were billed as "light-hearted" looks at the world from America, and if that's what they were I would have overlooked the fact that his arguments make no sense. But the talks weren't particularly light-hearted, ending by implying that European defence spending is responsible for the destruction of the twin towers in New York.

For those who didn't hear the talks and don't want to waste time listening again online (and it is a waste of time), here's the background. To make his political points O'Rourke set up a metaphor of countries as people, and compared their political ideals to the opinions of people of different ages. Unfortunately both the metaphor and the political points O'Rourke is trying to make just don't work, at all. O'Rourke argues that Britain in the first half the 20th century was an adult, especially in the way it dealt with Nazi Germany. America then was a teenager, a little vulgar and inexperienced. America since then has grown up into an adult, with a high gross domestic product, and leading the world, such as in the way it dealt with Iraq. Britain, however, has turned back into a child, because it has a welfare state--a childish policy of fair play--and therefore a lower GDP, which is a bad thing.

Well I can use the metaphor to make my own interpretation. Britain hasn't turned back into a child, it has just grown up a bit more. America is a young entrepreneur who thinks money is the only important thing in life, and it doesn't care who it hurts in order to get more. Britain, who acted the same back in the days of empire, grew up and had a bit of wealth--all those well founded institutions, technology and experience--settled down and started realising there was more to life than money and power. So, Britain just stopped caring and started enjoying life, building a welfare state so it didn't have to constantly worry about money, building public services and funding culture and entertainment, and all those other things that make life in Britain richer. America isn't left alone to lead the world, now that Britain and France have become children. America is making rash decisions without fully considering the consequences, and the older and wiser European countries are doing their best to give America some advice before it makes mistakes--like Vietnam, Iraq, and all the other messy wars in between that were the result of American over enthusiasm. France and Germany's patience ran out, followed by Spain's last year. Britain and Italy are still running around after it trying to make sure it doesn't go to far and come home with a black eye and a broken arm.

The fact is, the metaphor is meaningless, and it doesn't make O'Rourke's lecture light-hearted.

(I won't even begin to reply to O'Rourke's implicit claim that a country can't operate if people don't go to church, it would take too long to stop laughing at the stupidity of it.)